“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Clearly, Mr. Gandhi has not met my lifelong opponent…
Dad has a few toys that make a bit of noise… they may startle me up front, but by no means do they irk me as much as this dreadful beast he calls the vacuum.
He plays on a big go-cart looking thing with scissors underneath it during the Spring and Summer. He calls this big red machine, “Thor” – I thought Thor was a 1/2 naked guy who threw around a hammer, but still – no judgement, you got it Dad, you can call that guy Thor. I don’t really mind the noise, but I do enjoy the outcome of what Thor brings me – the freshly cut grass for my belly to drag on during my morning rituals.
Then there is the “Hulk”, some weird looking Red metal thing that Dad pushes on the driveway shooting snow all over the town – again, makes a loud noise… but honestly, I don’t care enough about it… when it comes out, it’s super cold outside and Dad is just weird going outside in the first place.
During Dad’s fun projects, he usually has these little blue gun things that spin screws into the walls, or little handheld reciprocating knifes… of the big yellow circle thing that cuts all the wood up – and the big gas tank thing that vibrates the entire house – nope, none of that stuff bothers me…
But lets get back to my arch nemesis – this thing comes out about once a week (ok honestly like 1-2 times a month) and sucks up everything I purposely left on the floor – I set up my hair all over the house for initial retaliation towards it… and I’ve only been lucky enough to clog it once due to my hair… It pierces my ears every times Dad pulls the trigger – I can’t take it … so I quickly and quietly get set up in my ninja stances, only to strike down with my alligator clamps when Dad gets close enough. I’ve left some marks on it, but I have still yet to conquer this demon of a machine…
One Day… One Day…