Theo’s Thought Day 4: Morning Watch

I have many jobs here at my home, one of them, that I take very seriously is guarding the castle!

Daddy doesn’t realize it, but it takes a very big thought process to keep this house safe and it starts every morning, between the hours of 3:30 – 5:00AM

I will use the tip of my indurated snout and shove it into Daddy’s chin, even use my secret weapon of morning kisses if he doesn’t wake up right away… Once he’s up, I confirm it’s time for me to get out of bed with a tale wiggle.

He tends to giggle when I waddle to the back door, but little does he know it’s part of my morning yoga stretches, walking with swag!

After about 3 minutes of staring outside the door, I know it’s time to punch the clock and get to work.

Rain/Sleet/Snow – I have to carefully climb down the declivitous staircase (like seriously, he acts like he’s walking down Mount Everest, but is legit a 6″ stoop smh), and begin my voyage, scaling the perimeter of our fortress.

Dad is weird during this time, he’s always cheering me on, standing in the doorway in his underwear… yelling “COME ON THEO!” … “LET’S GO THEO!”… I mean, don’t get me wrong, we all need a cheering section, but at 4 o’clock in the morning??? You’re going to wake the neighbors if you keep yelling!

I comb the grass, only a few blades at time, sniffing for any signs of predatory threats, while marking my spot along the way. Again, something humans can’t figure out, as they mark some giant porcelin chair, only to hit a button with nothing marked!

The most important part of my morning watch is finding the perfect spot to lay down security mines. I’m getting better at them too, because even Daddy tends to step in them from time to time, and boy does he get excited! After I’m done, I like to wipe my paws clean of any evidence I was there, and make the journey back to our castle.

On average, it will take me 20-30 minutes a morning, but hey, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do to protect his family right?